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The last bin for the loons.

WHEN I FIRST started reading the Green Party’s policies I had to stop after a couple of minutes because the tears were blinding me. Once I’d wiped my cheeks and stopped laughing I tried it again. The same thing happened. Luckily, after a few goes, I pulled myself together and began to treat the exercise as a piece of political comedy. It’s now a guilty pleasure, much like visiting Bedlam used to be to watch the inmates in the torment of their delusions.

Given that the press has been full recently of Green boasting about a “surge” in their membership you must ask yourself how many of these new recruits have bothered to read their policies. The answer is clearly none. I suspect that even the majority of disappointed Labour supporters (who surely it is they) would think twice before committing themselves to this folly. The Greens have done the world a great service, however, in making their lunacy plain on the internet. No one has an excuse to say they weren’t warned. Only the maddest of the mad would vote for the mad Green party.

Greens want to turn back the clock to a pre-industrial Dark Age of small farms, little communities, limited travel, reduced consumption and lowered population.

WHAT’S ON OFFER? Well, they want to turn back the clock to a pre-industrial Dark Age of small farms, little communities, limited travel, reduced consumption and lowered population. All factory farming will be phased out in favour of smaller free-range units, all prophylactic use of antibiotics on animals will be stopped, as will intensive fish farming.

Large-scale agribusinesses will be discouraged, private use and ownership of all firearms will be banned, as will horse racing and greyhound racing. The Greens will encourage the UN to set up an Animal Rights Division.

Nuclear weapons will be abandoned, and people will receive a compulsory Citizen’s Income of £71 (eventually) and free condoms. Britain will pull out of NATO and the armed services will be cut down to become “proportionate” to any threats, with some military sites turned into nature reserves. The arms industry will be converted to make wind turbines.

In the interests of “restorative justice” criminals will be required to pay “reparations” to victims rather than be punished, although if they can’t afford to pay, the rest of us will have to stump up for them. And they’ll get therapy. Terrorism will be “rooted out” somehow or other and membership of “terrorist” groups will no longer be a crime. People will be encouraged to give up meat and become vegetarian. All dogs will be microchipped. And there’ll be free condoms.

In the interests of diversity grammar schools will be phased out and “integrated” into the state system, while private schools will have their charitable status removed. Enforced heterosexuality will be outlawed, wealth and inheritance taxes will be ramped up and duty on alcohol and tobacco increased to deter consumption. There’ll also be eco-taxes on resources and import duties on raw materials and foods. Individual car use will be discouraged while car-sharing, cycling and public transport will be encouraged. Plans for new lighting in the countryside will be stopped in order to halt light pollution.

Eventually there will be open borders and unlimited immigration so that anyone who wants to come to Britain will be able to do so. That won’t be a problem, apparently, because by then the concept of legal nationality will have been abolished as “outdated and irrelevant”.

I can’t really continue because the tears have returned.

IT’S HARD TO believe this is all dreamed up by adults. It’s a view of the world that’s naively Romantic, unacquainted with the hard realities either of the natural world or of human nature; a strange brew of outdated New Agey hippieness infused with a toxic dose of illiberal, interfering authoritarianism, economic illiteracy and a hatred of humanity. There’s nobody so unable to cope with the modern world than the Greens. True to the real backwardness of progressivism, they’re where you end up if the conventional left aren’t loony enough for you.

One thing you can look forward to in the Green future when you have a spare moment is visiting your local licensed bordello (all hetero and LGBTI tastes catered for) where you can use up your free condoms. You’ll probably have to cycle there, though.

Michael Blackburn.


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