‘IF YOU MAKE a hit movie about a shepherd’s wife in Romania, the next role you’re offered will be a pig farmer’s wife in Spain.’ (anonymous film actress) His grandfather called things by their Norse names: ‘mowdies’ (moles), ‘mel’ (posthammer). He screams at his dog, swears at his son, curses rain, forms, hikers, pen pushers. […]

‘AN APRON SAGGING with apples, red and green: the well-beloved, the Eve of the fair, the promise.’ The apple draws the earth as much as the earth draws the apple. Grafts were taken from the gravity park where genius found sanctuary from lawlessness. One scion growing outside college gates gives a moment’s foothold to a […]

‘INSTEAD OF TASSEL and button, a mourning mortarboard is topped with a saltire of two black ribbons and, in the centre, a black ribbon rosette, grosgrain or satin.’ Having gathered up the grammars, she pushes the desks aside to clear a judo floor. First it’s boy against boy, girl against girl; later she mixes genders. […]

‘TRUTH FLUTTERS ON the mountain in the winds of change: all that matters is the pole, and the flag where it’s tight at the pole.’ To secure the one remaining slice of pie you say there’s a grub in it; then the inconvenient irony wriggles its little white finger, rejoicing in your double bind. All […]

‘TIME TRAVELLER SEEKS part-time assistant with traditional humanist values: must be good around old maps. Non-smoker. Sense of humour.’ Contours are ignored until they squeeze together. Brown is tough and closest to the sky; green may flood at any time; blue is the idleness of perfection. Instead of a church, an ecumenical shield brandished by […]

‘UNCONSCIOUS FATHERS, A diaspora of wanderers at large on the sea of souls, share a bond known only to the pantheon’s patriarch.’ Those who have never witnessed birth are an antique tribe with a second chance if the daughter is willing, as she might be if she truly understands. Generations fold into themselves, an asymmetric […]

‘MAY YOU FEEL the loving presence of Ganesh on his birthday (1st September) and on yours. Namaste.’ Using trunks to test unsafe ground, these Atlas elephants were surer than mountain goats. They widened the passes for the army – contrary to popular belief. Their problem was lack of browse. Napoleon may have found a few […]

‘CALLING THE DIRECTOR a vampire, in rehearsals, won for her the love of all the cast, except his mistress, playing Snow White.’ Inhabiting a tree is formative. From fingers browning and falling you progress to almost visible roots, then later to cruelly self-examining in the round, the bourgeoisie undressed, shielded by a dustbin lid. A […]