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Wee Eck and jam for Scotland tomorrow.

IF, AS THE old adage goes, we get the government we deserve, some serious questions need to be answered. What in God’s name did we do to deserve Blair and Brown, for instance? And then Cameron and Clegg?

I could say the same for Scotland, currently practising for nationhood under the tutelage of Salmond and Sturgeon (they all sound like parochial solicitors from a Dickens novel, don’t they?). What on earth have the Scots done to deserve the possibility of ending up with these two and their ilk in control of their country? Ireland, when it achieved independence, spent most of its free existence being run by priests and “gombeen” men, that is, shady, crooked little characters. Ex-PM Albert Reynolds took The Sunday Times to court for calling him a gombeen. And Charles Haughey — well, best not say anything about him. The EU provided them with even greater opportunities, being itself a club for Eurogombeens and has-beens. The results have not been good.

Is there a Scots equivalent for gombeen? From what I’ve seen of the SNP there should be.

In the land of David Hume and Adam Smith intelligent debate has been reduced to name calling and evasion. On the Scottish side for independence, that is. Whenever anyone raises difficult questions about the SNP’s proposals, the response is always the same: the British state is threatening and bullying them.

Hence the inability of Salmond & Co to accept that the choice to retain the pound in a currency union with Britain is not in their gift. Pound sterling is, after all, British, and an independent Scotland will no longer be British. I thought that was the main point of becoming a separate country? And with no currency of your own you have little control over your economy. It’s a bit like a wife expecting to retain a joint bank account with the man she’s about to divorce. Or vice versa, if you don’t want to be sexist, and goodness me, we don’t want to be anything like that.

The same goes for membership of the European Union. The SNP assume that because at the moment “they” are in the EU because the UK is, an easy transition to full membership is a given. Unfortunately someone in the EU has said on British tv that Scotland joining the EU as a new member state would be “very difficult” if not “impossible”. This was ridiculed by some Nats, who seemed unaware that the chap who made the statement was Mr Barroso, President of the European Commission and therefore one of the most powerful people in Europe. He definitely knows a thing or two about the EU.

So the EU are bullies as well, according to the Nats. That’s not a good thing to say about people whose club you want to join, is it? But that arrogance is typical of the SNP. Anyone who questions their proposals is a bully. Anyone who says they can’t have what they want is making threats. Playing the victim card is a political trick Salmond thinks will harvest enough votes. He may be right, since there are plenty of people repeating the mantra in the media.

If that’s the case, it’s a sad day for Scotland.

IF YOU’RE IN doubt about the ferlies offered to the Scottish people like those offered to Thomas the Rhymer, then read the “guide” yourself. It’s a thick volume that should be retitled Jam for Scotland Tomorrow. In it there are marvels just within reach, as soon as the British yoke can be thrown off: free everything, jobs for all, low taxes, oodles of North Sea oil revenue, a proud wee country taking its place at the “top table” of wherever international tables are brought together, and no carbon emissions. There’ll be (I jest not) “controlled” immigration, improvements to Scotland’s fishing industry, a rebate from the EU, and the distribution of the new country’s largesse in the form of foreign aid.

Well, if they do become members of the EU they can say goodbye to controlled immigration except from non-EU states.

And there’ll be as much chance of achieving meaningful changes in the Common Agricultural Policy for the benefit of Scottish farmers and fishermen as Alec Salmond having a sex change, becoming a Tory and taking elocution lessons in standard English.

They’ll also join NATO, though they won’t be a nuclear member. Thus they’ll have to play the game of saying “no nukes in our ports” but not asking any French, British or American warship that pulls in for whisky and haggis if they’ve got a nuke tucked away on board.

I was going to say at least they have no plans for a space program, but then noticed they expect to continue taking part in the UK Space Agency and the European Space Agency. Wee Eck goes to infinity and beyond.

As you may have noted already, a large amount of what they promise is predicated on being members of the European Union. And, strangely, of somehow still being in the United Kingdom. Usually if someone wants independence they want to be rid of as much as possible of the other side. So it’s rather confusing, that the SNP spend so much time reviling and abusing the British state but demanding they remain cosily connected to it.

If the SNP had done their job properly they’d have gone into more detail on the vital questions of the currency and membership of the EU earlier. If they’d known beforehand that the Treasury would rule out a currency union would they still seriously be arguing for one? If they’d cleared things with the EU beforehand, would they still be assuming they’d become member automatically? And, by the way, explaining how they could become members of the EU without joining the Euro?

The whole thing is a disgraceful shambles, full of evasions, delusions and prevarications. If it shows one thing quite clearly it’s that the push for independence is mainly a vanity project of the political class built on the back of a small core of nationalism. I don’t think Salmond really cares about the future of Scotland. I think he’s more concerned about his own reputation and if Scotland were diminished by independence he’d be happy with that, as long as he was the boss for a while and could flaunt himself as another Robert the Bruce.

Nobody deserves the kind of government Wee Eck and his mates would actually deliver, least of all the people of Scotland. If it does happen at least they’ve got plenty of whisky to anaesthetise themselves with. And the road to England, of course.

Michael Blackburn.

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Ian Hall
Ian Hall
9 years ago

Well at the very least if the vote is Yes- rUK will get its jobs back and we will stop subsidising many aspects of Scottish life.
Have a nice day yourself

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