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Index: Currente Calamo

Bees, vice, and paradise.

Michael Blackburn: ‘The whole economic system churns over immense amounts of money both of the legal and illegal kind, enabling millions of people to earn the wherewithal to live. A vast amount of waste is involved in this and yet somehow society continues without collapsing.’

Remain calm in your safe space.

Michael Blackburn: ‘The hedonistic cult of the individual found itself amalgamated with the increasingly authoritarian cult of state worship, a cult which has proliferated its divisive activities into every area of life it can occupy — race, class, sexuality, religion, etc. Everything to do with the nation’s past and heritage is either deliberately forgotten or trashed. What it is being replaced with is a febrile tradition of resentment and sanctimonious, sentimental emotionalism, and a simpering pleading for peacefulness perversely shot through with violent intolerance.’

No conceptual penis, no climate change.

Michael Blackburn: ‘That is impressive. Oppression, servitude, poverty and the death of the whole planet, all down to the non-existent penis. It was too good to be true. No wonder they fell for it.’

Labour’s lost boy.

Michael Blackburn: ‘Jeremy Corbyn, then, is Peter Pan, and a great example of him in the purest mode. But in order to continue promulgating this sort of fantasy you have to ignore the lessons of reality. That brings me to my second point — amnesia. There is virtually no memory in Neverland. People come and go and no one cares or remembers. Peter Pan returns sporadically to the Darling household but lives in a state of forgetting. Even Tinker Bell and Captain disappear into oblivion.’

A surfeit of elections.

Michael Blackburn: ‘All that most people know about Macron is that he looks like he’s a bit too young to be in charge of one of Europe’s biggest nations and that he married his teacher. No doubt he’ll huff and puff Gallically over the Brexit negotiations while doing exactly what his boss, Mrs Merkel, tells him to. The “open”, “stronger” Europe racket is still in business, so the one thing the French can do is stock up on candles and prepare themselves for the next round of Muslim terror attacks.’

What’s so funny?

Michael Blackburn: ‘Hasan Minhaj’s leaden quips and jibes were as relentless as those by our own comics on such programmes as Have I Got News For You? and Mock The Week, series in which the twitching dead of leftist comedy are allowed to squeak and gibber in their own echo chamber.’

The leftist love-in with Islam.

IT CAN’T HAVE escaped the intelligent observer that the left — and what we can call the Establishment in general — is more than indulgent towards Islam. It is truly, madly, deeply, pathologically besotted with it.

Another slap from Nanny.

Michael Blackburn: ‘We are now at a stage in public life and private life where we have to pretend we’re not grown-up enough to understand jokes, language or context. We have to pretend that words are actual things like sticks and stones. We need Nanny to give us a slap for being bad children (but mainly bad boys) who say bad things, while the bullies and their sneaky little hangers-on point their fingers saying, “It was him, Miss, it was him. He was the one who said it.”’

Nose hair and tears.

Michael Blackburn:’As you get older your body and mind shrink while your nose hair thrives. You realise more than ever the fragility of the fabric of human life, and the tears are not far behind.’

Transnational buffoonery.

Michael Blackburn: ‘In south Wales the road signs are bilingual even though few few people there use Welsh (different, I know, in north Wales) and it annoys the hell out of me whenever I visit. It’s another form of virtue signalling but with racist overtones (but acceptably racist in PC terms).’

Trigger Nanny.

Michael Blackburn: ‘It’s enough to drive you to your safe space for a cuddle with your teddy bear and a suck of your thumb. What’s funniest is when they warn us about the strong language just before a foreign language film. Unless they translate the original Swedish, say, into something a bit more fulsome in English, most of us are not going to realise whether a character is effing and blinding or reciting lines of poetry by Tomas Transtromer.’

Muckety-mucks and fashy cuts.

Michael Blackburn: ‘If you’re going to be a fascist you can at least signal your naziness more openly and not look like a graphic designer from Shoreditch. The muckety-mucks in the States are now getting quivery about it, although it has to be said their home-grown nazis appear to cling to the regular clean-shaven look. As The Washington Post says, “When these groups look and dress like everyone else, it is easier for their extremism to look outwardly normal.” And we can’t have these folks looking normal, can we?’

‘Civilisation’—who needs it?

Michael Blackburn: ‘I’m sure that however fascinating the remake will be, the overall takeaway will be a diminishing of belief in the concept of Western civilisation. And as Clark made clear, a civilisation that has no self-confidence will fall. Clark also subtitled his series “a private view”. We can anticipate the revamp will not be so modestly framed but will be an overt lesson in ideological correctness from the establishment.’

Staying home to watch the riots.

Michael Blackburn: ‘Maybe I’m being romantic and nostalgic but those were the days when a riot was a real riot and the police got stuck in good and proper, especially when they brought the cavalry along. The cops then didn’t have all this armoured paramilitary gear they have now. They usually just had their old-fashioned helmets and truncheons. That didn’t stop them from putting it about and getting bloodied in the process. Now they just seem to hang about a while, occasionally making a half-hearted waddling advance followed by a swift retreat.’

The May trajectory.

Michael Blackburn: ‘May has had the luck to land the PM job, but without the (albeit unnecessary) mandate of a general election. I’m assuming she would like another term as Prime Minister in 2020, a term which she can justifiably say was won by the popular vote. The only way she can guarantee that is to deliver exactly what the people voted for in the referendum, ie, a proper exit from the EU.’