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Frankly, my dear, I just don’t…

THERE ARE JUST too many things to care about, and too many people demanding we care about them. Every day new woes, new guilts are added to the old ones. There’s never a shortage of them nor of the ghastly people eager to burden us with them.

If I did as I was supposed to and joined in solidarity with the activists, boycotters, hashtaggers, petition-signers, protestors and campaigners I‘d be on the edge of a nervous breakdown within a week. I’d also be a pain in the backside and devoid of friends and family, because there’s nothing more irritating than the conscientiously concerned.

Since the list of my don’t-cares is so long, I’ll give you a random selection.

Gun control in America. Periodically some loon in the States goes on a shooting spree in a school, university or shopping mall. Immediately the media go into overdrive and the international outrage lobby mount their high horses to demand the repeal of the Second Amendment and the banning of all guns. As far as I’m concerned this is a matter for the people of America, not for those of us who live outside.  It’s certainly not the business of that preening and pompous prig Piers Morgan, who took it upon himself to lecture the Americans on his failed tv show about how to run their own country. Keep your guns, America, and keep Morgan as well. I don’t care about gun control and I don’t care for the prig.

The rich, the ‘one-percent’ or whatever you want to call them. Rich people have more money than the rest of us. So what? Good luck to them. I don’t care if rich people are nice kitten-cuddlers or miserly skinflints. As long as they don’t screw up my life I don’t care. So what if they use their cash to give their kids expensive educations, Ferraris and floozies? I’d do the same. If the government took all the wealth of the Duke of Westminster, for instance (£8.5 billion), it wouldn’t improve my daily existence one iota. It would be gone without trace within six months down some departmental black hole. Besides, most of the people railing against the rich are just jealous because they’re not rich. You think I care about them, either?

And tax, since we’re talking about the rich. Tax is a necessary evil and it’s not worth fetishising as some sort of moral gold standard. Just because we’ve allowed the state to levy taxes on our earnings and savings doesn’t give it carte blanche to slap charges on everything it wants, so it can pretend it will provide more schools, doctors, hospitals and nurses. Does anyone really believe that nonsense? The less tax the state takes the better because the less opportunity it gives politicians to waste our money on things we didn’t ask for. If people manage to keep lots of their cash out of the clutches of the revenue, I don’t care.

Transgenderism. The progressive media is heaving with concerns about what must be the smallest minority on the sexual identity scene, all two hundred of them. It’s no big deal, ladies, gentlemen and all in between. If people have trouble with their sexual identity and want to use surgery to sort it out, fair enough. It’s not my concern. Don’t ask me to pay for it or to “celebrate” it or show solidarity or treat this as some sort of civilisation-changing movement that schoolkids need to be educated about. It’s only important to you. I don’t care. You’re just another pawn in the progressive journey to social chaos. You’ll be forgotten once the movement gets to its fag end with incest and bestiality, when it’s running out of taboos and minorities to exploit (which will be sooner than you think).

The downtrodden, the disadvantaged and all the other victim groups at home and around the world. Now clearly (as if this needs to be said) I don’t want people to be downtrodden, oppressed, enslaved or condemned to poverty, but there’s damn all I can do about any of it. And — very specifically — I don’t care about people who bring misfortune upon themselves. That includes gypsies here in the UK (because by kowtowing to the god of cultural identity we encourage them to live at odds with the rest of society) or Palestinians abroad (if you don’t want casualties, don’t start a war).

Not to forget pandas, of course (but I’ve already written about them). I couldn’t care less if they vanished tomorrow.

And if all that makes me a bad person, I don’t give a damn. What do you care?

Michael Blackburn.

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Simon Jarvis
Simon Jarvis
9 years ago

Michael Blackburn ‘cares’ about so little that it’s perhaps unsurprising that he doesn’t care about proofreading. He ‘juist’ couldn’t care less.

Note: This comment concerns an editing error since corrected.

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